I was on a run today, thinking about the different roles I play in my life, and thought it might be fun to share my thoughts with all of you. I wanted to add runner and writer to the mix, but the title just got to be a tad too wordy for me. So I decided to go with the most important roles I play.
I realized my first role was that of a daughter of my Heavenly Father. If I always keep that at the forefront of my mind, I think my other responsibilities will fall more smoothly into place.What a great and glorious beginning for each of us: to commence our existence as children of a Heavenly Father that loves us with a perfect love.
Then, of course, I was born to my parents as their third and final child. Yes, I am the baby. And I love it! So, not only was I born and instantly became a daughter, but I also was thrown into the sister role as well. I learned a lot from my siblings; my brother, Chad, was eight when I came into the world, and my sister, Danielle, was four. I could go on and on about the funny stories of how they tormented their little sister, but I'll save those for another time. I did, however, have two instant friends and playmates, and that was fun. My parents taught me how to love and be loved. My siblings taught me that family are your first friends. My parents gave me the gift of life, and without that, none of my other roles would even exist.
A few years later I became a wife (role number three) at the ripe old age of eighteen. I know what you're thinking: that has failure written all over it, but, miraculously, I am happy and still married to the same man eighteen years later! And without him, my role of mother wouldn't have been possible. If ever times do get hard, I need only remember that to be truly grateful. I have four beautiful and imperfect children. I think they are the greatest and most talented in the world; but that's my job, right? They are stubborn, ungrateful at times, sloppy, forgetful, stressful, sweet, smart, good, and my most cherished gift. So, basically, they are completely normal.
Being a friend is such an important role. I've had many throughout my life. Some I still keep close from when I was a child, those are special and it took effort to keep them going. Others, some of my closest, I didn't find until I was an adult, when we could relate on a whole new level: play-groups, picnics at the park, toddler swimming lessons, ballet class, etc. I'm grateful for each of my friends and think of them as the fuel that keeps me going.
I've come to accept that life is a mix of okay days; times when you're not sure how you'll survive; moments where you feel entirely alone; repetitive years when you're sure that all of your hard work goes unnoticed by everyone; days when your heart is broken, and you can't see how it will never heal; and then when you feel like you can't take another step into the darkness, suddenly there's light. Those bright and amazing moments come along, that literally steal your breath because you realize, I would go through it all again just for this one day.
When I look closely at all my roles I can't help but feel overwhelmed sometimes. Am I a good daughter? My parents would instantly say yes. But that's because they're my parents and they think the best of me. I know that I never fully appreciated them until now.
How do I rank as a sister? I think I hold my own there, but I could be more sensitive sometimes.
Am I a good wife? Most of the time, yes. But I could always be better.
Am I a good mom? I think it's difficult for any of us to say an adamant yes to that one. We all feel like we could be better, or be more. I love them with all of my heart and I sincerely try. And that's going to have to be good enough.
Am I a good friend? At times I'm a rock, full of good advice and a helping hand. And at other times I'm just needy.
So I guess, like my children, I'm just normal, and I think that's okay.
